Spirals

I am weak. I fear everything. I cannot bear to see you wear down your body. It may not look like it that way on the outside, but a pessimist only fears the worst. No matter how we are in the future, I wish you to be happy and well. At the rate you're going, it doesn't seem like you will be. I fear the worst. I fear that in the future, you will bring about some of my worst fears. I am weak. I am not good enough to be with you. Find someone who will love you and who will support you through hard times, because I cannot.

I cry because I know that it hurts to not be able to support you. I then cry because I feel stupid. I cry more because I feel a coward for not trying to help you. I feel stupid because I am giving up on you. It tears my heart out because I am so attached to you, yet I do want to end it, to sever the powerful bonds, before I get hurt. I am selfish.

All this crying will hurt me too one day. I deserve that. But I need someone strong to support me. Not someone who will break me more.