Toronto

Going down to Toronto for a weekend was amazing. Leaving right after school in a rented car, we arrived after dark. Along the way, we sang along to the radio, played Monopoly, texted, and talked. We stopped for Swiss Chalet as we got into Scarborough, then headed on into the downtown core, where the Sheraton was. Amazing hotel, complete with its own waterfall garden and herb garden. We had a pillow fight and then went to bed.

The next morning, I awoke and went for a walk in the waterfall garden, though I had intended to cross the street and go to the city hall square. When the others woke, we went to the Ontario University Fair, the main reason of our visit. Managing to not find breakfast, we waited it out until lunch time, when the four of us polished off a Canadian pizza. When the fair ended, we headed over to the Pacific Mall for some relaxation. Upon returning to our hotel, we spent two hours doing homework, then went up to our rooms. We talked for hours about life and its unpredictability and complexity. It felt like forever. We slept at 1:20.

The next morning, we awoke to loud music and a man shouting over a megaphone. City hall, right across the road from our room, was hosting a marathon. We went out to find breakfast, although crossing the marathon was quite a hassle. We split up, two of us shopping inside the Eaton Centre while the other two went back to the University Fair.

We met up at 2:00 and headed for home. All in all, an amazing time.

Night

It's been a long week that we've fought our way through, and I suppose it's time to relax. We went off for bubbletea after school and met new people. Later, we went to Milestone's, intending to stay for just an appetizer, but the restaurant's atmosphere lulled us in and we decided to stay for dinner. Our waitress was very polite and kind to us and the food was great - we all ordered one form of pasta. Seafood fettuccine was amazing, although I ALMOST finished it :[ The appetizer was quite good too, various breads with little sauces along the side, one either raspberry or cranberry and the other hawthorn, along with poppy-seed goat cheese and roasted garlic.

September and October have been quite hectic months, full of amazing days. We've been to party after birthday party, traveled far, and barely had chance to breathe. Yesterday was the breather we needed, a pause to let us regain ourselves before we continue on.

After dinner, we went up to the mall roof. We found a dark corner and talked. Two rabbits appeared nearby, grazing on the grass. What did life have in store for us? It's hard to think that in two years, we would have to leave everyone behind and move on by ourselves. What will happen between now and then? The night sky was cloudy. It rained for a little while, but we still sat, under our umbrellas, and talked. Life is about taking chances, but some chances we just cannot take. Can you just keep stumbling and falling? When will we ever learn? There is never an ending to the story, but we can continue to make things happen. Things don't have to end just because we stumbled and fell. Perhaps things will rule in our favour. We'll never know.

Postscript

Although you seemed fine, I do hope you are alright on the inside. It may have taken a while for it to set in. I'm truly sorry I've wasted your time. I do hope that you can move on, and that you can find someone who is truly worthy. We may have been similar people on the inside, but it is the outside that gives a more constant impression. For that, that was where we diverged. We were too different on the outside. Thus, this tale ends here... for now.

Wiped Clean

However this ends, I hope it ends well. I'd still very much like to be your friend, but if you wish for some distance, that's alright. I do still care for you very much. I'm just not sure if I love you anymore. Can I still go on like this? I don't know if the relationship will last. Well, I just hope that we don't dwell too much on what might have been, and instead, focus on the great times we've had. Goodbye.

Ponderings

Sigh. It's been a while since I posted here. What's there to say? Summer... you get all hyped up about it, but when it's finally here, you're stuck at home because everyone else is off in some cool exotic faraway country.

Really sad that my computer crashed recently. Well... it's been crashing for while, it just got worse the past few weeks. My dad wiped the main drive, but that didn't solve the problem, so he reset the entire computer. For some reason, my drive, which is separate from the main drive, also got wiped. I lost all my data. I don't really care for my music and videos, as that eliminated my bad habit of hoarding everything, but some things you can never get back. Chat logs. Sigh. Oh well. I managed to get most of them back. What's done is done. Currently rebuilding my library of music. I also lost some of my writing. Good thing I posted them on the Internet/already had them handwritten, but I can't seem to find two pieces that I really liked. I thought I printed them. Sigh.

Life's good? I think so.

Sometimes I feel that the emotion isn't strong enough. Alere flammam. Nourish the flame. Keep it burning. However, I sometimes wonder if it will last forever. Sometimes I get second thoughts, but another side of me feels that after such a long wait, I should stick with my final solution.

The End of the Beginning

Song: [Allister MacGillivary] | Song for Peace

We've been off to a very rocky start, being shaken so far, but I think we might be okay now. The worst of this wave is now behind us. Hopefully things can be better. I like being in your arms, watching the sun as it moves across the sky. Maybe we can do that again sometime. After crying, the two of us, I believe we can overcome the difficulties and move on. And like my friend said, if we ever meet any future obstacles, we can look back and see this obstacle that we've overcome, and we'll know that we can withstand anything.

Maybe I've been slowly walking away, but I still continued to look back. Maybe I was ready to leave; I had one foot out the door, but you managed to make me turn around and come back.

Like the names written interlaced in the gravel; Amelia, Marilyn, Emily, Shannon, 2010 BFF, we can be You + Me Forever. Not You <3 Me Forever. But I'll stand by you, and you'll stand by me, and everything will be alright.

I am happy.

Life

Song: Dido | White Flag

Life is meaningless without you. My best friend, the best friend I ever had. I don't want to stab you in the heart; I feel like the hunter from Snow White. But I feel I need to get the thorn out of my heart. Only then can I start to heal. But it seems either way, there will be pain. There will be a scar, even when things are over. You make me worry so much. Why did I wait half an hour for you, when I was tired and everyone had already left? Why?